Thursday, August 23, 2012

Filling the Stay At Home Mom Void

This past spring, when I finally left my job to stay home with my son full time, I felt an immediate void. I was pretty surprised, since it was only part time, that I felt like something was missing. Work has always been my thing, and somehow it had become my way to get in my "me-time," (which is surprisingly counter-intuitive, since I spent it giving so much of myself.)

My void seemed to manifest itself in few ways:

1. Time 

I was now spending full days with my son and had to come up with something to do. Sitting in the house everyday, was just not working for me.

2. Mental Stimulation

While I spent my work time speaking with high school students, the conversation was far more engaging then those with my toddler.

3. Purpose

While there is a lot of purpose in being their for my son, and I recognize the great value in that, I felt like I needed to be making an impact on something external to our family.

4. Community

Basically, even as little as I saw them, I missed my coworkers. I missed being apart of a team.

Trying to find something to fill the void was harder than I realized, in hindsight. This post might seem a little late, but its really only in the last month or so that have I really felt like I've filled the void. Only now, several months later, have I really been able to identify that it worked. These past few months, I posted about trying a lot of things to try to fill in these areas.

And to be completely honest, none of these things actually filled the void.

However, all of these activities and events truly had their place in helping to fill my void because I actually found myself referring back to these things now that I'm occupying my time with mentally stimulating, community-building, purpose.

Every mom will fill that void with something different, and in my next post I'm going to talk about what I actually filled my void with, but in the meantime, what I've found is that getting out, staying busy (even with things you completely make-up,) and trying new things really can help lead you to find a me-time activity that you find meaningful.


P.S. - Just me making up stuff to fill my void? I'd love to hear some of the things you've tried!